How Gabourey Sidibe is quietly changing the world.
Oh, this is just what I needed today. As a counterpoint to the extreme self-consciousness of famous fat ladies like Carnie Wilson and Kirstie Alley, below is a clip of the always-wondrous Gabourey Sidibe talking about her Oscar nomination on Good Morning America.
Gabby is a treasure because she is completely at home in herself, at least she is now, and I hope she will continue to be in future, and I hope she has a fantastic career regardless of her size. She is entirely human, and she is normal enough that I feel enabled to call her “Gabby” like I know her personally, which I do not. Her enthusiasm is infectious. We want to root for her not just because she is the underdog — though she is — but because she is so like us, or like a family member we love, or like a friend we don’t see often enough. We want to root for her because some people are so astonished that anyone who looks like Gabby could possibly have any depth that they witlessly confuse the actress with her character. A nigh-universal assumption about fat folks, especially fat folks who are also not white, is that they’re all unintelligent, unhappy, pathetic, and pitiable. Though the character of Precious may, on the surface, be seen by some as fitting these descriptions, the actress Gabby does not. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to watch her as herself for more than a few seconds and seriously argue that she’s any of the above. What’s fascinating to me is that while the role and the character she portrays may not do much that is new for cultural representations of fat folks, especially fat folks of color, Gabby herself, just being herself, talking on late night television or popping in on Good Morning America — she is, individually, a revolution.
When I talk about representation, what I mean is the predominating picture that media paints about certain marginalized groups. When I say “marginalized”, I mean those people who don’t get “normal” roles in the television and film worlds that govern so much of our discourse, but instead get stereotyped or caricatured. The fat best friend of the (thin) heroine. The disabled person who inspires the (able-bodied) hero to do good. The black dude who tries to rob or rape the (white) heroine. The poor stranger who gives perspective and bequeaths the wisdom of poverty to the (well-off) hero. And it goes on. These stereotypes are generally presented in contrast to the protagonist, and it’s the protagonist with whom we’re expected to identify, while the supporting pieces serve their purpose to draw the hero out, to make him a deeper character without having any depth of their own. Precious is unusual in giving us a main character so different than what we’re accustomed to, and challenging us to relate to her over the course of the film. Even when we don’t want to. Even when we’d rather turn away, like we would if Precious were a living person on the street, and not a comparatively safe image on a screen.
Gabby, however, takes this further by not only making us want to relate to her as an actress, in opposition to our comfort level, but by also being, herself, a contradiction to what we expect fat black women to be. She is smart, engaging, funny, and above all, charming. I keep reading folks acting like Gabby is the rarest jewel on earth, that nobody else in the world could possibly look like her and have even a tenth of her self-confidence and appeal.
Bullshit.
Gabby represents me. Gabby represents my friends, people I know and love, first-person, real world. Gabby represents a lot of us that our culture and our media don’t believe exist; we are fat unicorns, frolicking in fields of candy flowers, having the unfathomable gall to be happy and enthusiastic and funny and real in a world that demands we be apologetic, and shamed, and chastized, and isolated. My heart bursts with joy when I see this woman on the television because, yes, I feel recognized, and I feel validated. I’m here. I’m real. It’s a miracle. It’s a bloody fucking miracle of impossible proportions, more than I expected, now, ever. How can this be happening? It is.
There I am. There she is.
Oh Lesley I just love, love, love this post.
I doubt you did, but did you read the Sweet Valley books when you were younger? Jessica, the “cool twin” was a member of the Unicorn Club, which was an exclusive group of the most popular and beautiful middle school girls. Reading your line about fat unicorns made me think of that, because when I was 10 and reading those books, I desperately wanted to be a unicorn. Now I kind of am.
Perhaps we can start our very own non-exclusive, club of fat unicorns. Do you think we can convince an Etsy seller to make fat unicorn necklaces?
Today, we are all fat unicorns!
I have to admit that I feel sort of ambivalent about her public chat show appearances, in part because I do feel like the media’s unable to see what they’re doing as anything *other* than a “profile in courage.” This is not to say that she isn’t working against that image. But I think that part of the narrative of “discovery” of her makes her seem like a one in a million for whom an exception is made because of her talent (much like Susan Boyle, actually).
This is a great post Lesley. I also wanted to add another link to your list Gabby Sibide’s representation of her genuine self-care in terms of fat acceptance and self-love. She was on the Charlie Rose show a few weeks back and was awesome there, as everywhere else: http://www.hulu.com/watch/122409/charlie-rose-mika-brzezinski-actor-gabourey-sidibe#s-p2-so-i0. Sibide’s interview starts about 20-25 minutes into the show.
I haven’t had a chance to see Precious yet and this is the first time I have ever really seen Gabourey (aside from photos and transcribed interviews) and I am. Completely. Blown. Away. Holy cow. You can just feel this woman’s strength and positivity right through the speakers and computer monitor.
Lesley–you rock! “we are fat unicorns, frolicking in fields of candy flower” is now my facebook status and may soon be on my favorite t-shirt!~
Oh, man. “We are fat unicorns” is EXACTLY what I needed to hear/read right now. Thank you.
She is my favorite right now. I love her oomph and her sparkle in interviews. I have rarely been so taken by an actor–she just seems smart and funny and cool and awesome and I am hating that she is so often treated by the medias like a curiosity rather than a fascinating human being.
How adorable is Gabourey? I mean seriously, she just shines from a place so deep within her soul, how could anyone not be enamoured of her? It’s a delight to know there is a wonderful young woman such as she up there on screens and in mags for young women to see and admire.
Thanks, y’all. :)
@bloomie - I think you can get an Etsy seller somewhere to make just about ANYTHING. I would be firmly down with Fat Unicorn necklaces (or pins - I would personally rather wear a pin) and may actually investigate that.
@Miriam - I get you, and I think that the really startlingly candid surprise from so many of the folks who interview her is SO telling, and I love that Gabby herself just rolls with it. Part of why I found her Conan O’Brien interview so wonderful to watch was to see how people (in this case, Conan) who are uncertain at first just warm to her the more she talks. It’s like grass-roots body-diversity activism in microcosm, in which someone changes individual perceptions simply by existing and being herself.
@stefanie - Thanks for the link! Every interview I see makes me happier.
Eugh, I gave up reading that article the second I saw “Down’s Syndrome” - really? Doesn’t anyone know how to fact check anymore? It’s DOWN. SYNDROME. Oy.